After a remarkably frazzling week in the world, I was lucky enough to soak with dear friends in their hot tub the other night (the place where many deep life conversations and epiphanies happen for me).
We discussed a very important distinction that applies to business as well as life (of course, since it ain’t separate as we know).
I often speak of the destructive, very UN-natural hamster wheel we find ourselves on… this so called “need to always do, have, and be MORE”. Our society is literally based on this concept that is “more is better”.
So we end up acting like robots, instead of humans, in our ever-enduring quest to “make it” in modern society. And it is so exhausting. Not to mention that it’s killing our planet.
Living life from a place of “something’s missing and I need to get it and then I’ll be happy” is actually at the core of what makes us unhappy (the Buddhists basically say the root of all suffering is wanting things to be different from they are).
But does this mean we cannot desire more for our lives? That we give up and renounce everything?
I don’t believe so.
But let’s unpack this paradox.
We naturally want more beauty, abundance, growth, purpose and happiness as humans.
Nature is constantly growing, producing and abundant. Life is constantly in a state of expansion. The physical universe itself is still expanding.
And we are endlessly emerging and evolving as humans.
I believe we were put on this earth to grow and manifest into who we truly are… and our life journey takes us through the trials, tribulations, and glories of this process.
It even translates to growing wealth. Think about a drought situation versus a lush rainforest –having the resources to grow enables us to more fully express who we are. I’m not saying you need money to be who you are, but how much dramatically easier is it to discover, cultivate and offer your gifts when you are filled up and supported financially, in your health, by community, etc?
And the universe wants this for you. In its ever-expansion and desire for our expansion, it provides resources that we can partner with in our own growth (sorry if I’m getting a little woo here).So you can see, it’s totally natural to desire for something “more” for your life… but it’s a very different flavor of more from the toxic “more” I mentioned above.
So the big question is… where does your desire for more come from?
Does it come from a natural inclination to manifest more fully who you are and your gifts and offerings in the world?
Or does it come from a place of not having enough and needing to keep up with a society or internal pressures and beliefs that you can never possibly keep up with anyway?
Bottom line, is your desire for something to be more fully expressed in you come from a place of wholeness or lack?
Here’s a quick exercise:
- Dig Under Your Desires: Check in with where your desire for more stems from… for example, a bigger vision for you who can be in your life? A true desire to feel whole, connected, and of service? From a pattern of keeping busy, or producing more because that’s how you define your self-worth? From a place of fear of not having enough whatever?
- Find Your Wholeness: Know that whatever you are becoming or evolving into may be totally amazing, but what you have and who you are right now is 100%, completely perfect (even in its imperfection). Write a list of 25 things you are grateful for about your life and how you show up in it. Find your acceptance of where you are right now. Remind yourself (constantly) that you’re OK where you’re at. (Of course, this has to be a long-term habit to make a real shift).
- Create Your Vision for More: Finally, from this place of wholeness (as opposed to a place of “I don’t have enough fill-in-the-blank”), name your desires for growth and evolution. Write down what you want to create in your life, knowing it’s all good as it is, and you are naturally on a growth trajectory as an evolving human.
Our businesses are particularly prone to the societal and personal pressures of MORE. But if you can relax into being totally ok with where you’re at, I promise you you’ll feel much for space, trust and flow in you work. And this will lead to manifesting more of what you want for your life.
I learn this everyday in running a business (sometimes the hard way).
I’d love to hear you thoughts on this too.